Hatred ever kills, Love never dies
by fourpawsonthefloor
Summary: This is an AU fic that was written for a bizzaro Kurt challenge on Nightscrawlers. Mainly Kurt Logan
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Logan stood surveying the sodden pathetic looking creature that stood in front of him, dripping a puddle on the mat that sat on the front doorstep.

"So ya decided to come after all?" Logan grunted, opening the door wider and stepping to one side, allowing the disheveled man to step in through the door.

"Ja." The man just stood there, a small duffel bag over one shoulder, looking back at Logan as he shut the large oak door.

He sure looked a mess…his bleached white hair was plastered to his head, exposing the dark roots at the base. One eye was still swollen, though it looked like whatever misfortune had struck him had probably happened a couple of days previously. His face bore numerous scabbed over abrasions, and a large cut ran up the side of one cheekbone. It had been taped up at some point, but now it was dirty and angry looking, the tatters of the tape sagging dispiritedly from his fur. Gone too was the man's bravado, his smugness…he looked defeated in both body and spirit. It was quite the change from when he had last seen him.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

_Six months previously…._

"This is the place?"

Ororo and Logan stood on the street side by side. She was dressed smartly in a pair of dark jeans topped with a white cashmere top, her regal face partly in shadows and partly lit by the street lamps as she surveyed the exterior.

"Yep." Logan snuffed his cigar under one boot, tugging his beaten up hat down across his brow. He was dressed in his usual casual wear; faded jeans and a white t-shirt topped with a plaid flannel jacket.

They both could hear the predicable loud thumps of bass played beyond the decibel level that was considered safe for human eardrums pumping from the dark building. A bright neon sign blinked off and on, illuminating the front of the building with a flickering pink light. As they approached the door a woman stepped in front of them. She was about Logan's height, the same barrel chest, and her sandy brown hair cut in a mullet. A black t-shirt fitted tightly across her large bosom and proclaimed "My Shitty attitude is none of your Fucking business" in large bold white letters. A couple of giggling women waved to her as they slipped past and through the heavy doors.

"What do you want?" She asked, stepping slightly into their path, crossing her arms over her chest, nodding her head towards them.

"We have business with someone here." Logan replied, tipping his hat up with a flick of his fingers to take a better look at the woman. She looked like the type that you just didn't screw with - like she'd rip a piece off of you and use it like a toothpick. "Guy named 'Toy'."

"Oh." She nodded and stood to the side at that. "He's in the back."

Logan swung the heavy metal door open, and ushered 'Ro in front of him, following her down the stairwell. "What the hell kind of a name is 'Toy' anyway?" Logan muttered over to 'Ro.

"The professor said that it was short for something in German." She paused at the bottom of the stairs looking into the dark room, lit only by the sharp stabs of colored lights and by the twinkle of a mirrored ball, spinning dizzily in circles from the ceiling of the dance floor. Several couples were madly gyrating to the music.

"Oh." Ororo raised her brows at the realization that the couple nearest to them that were swaying to the music, eyes locked on one another, were both men. "Well that explains why the bouncer looked so oddly at a man and a woman coming in together." Her eyes scanned the dim recesses of the room. "Did Charles describe who we are looking for?"

"Nah." Logan snorted at the pop music blaring away. "He said we couldn't miss him though. C'mon." He grasped 'Ro by her upper arm, guiding her through the crowed room towards the bar at one end.

Once they reached it Logan tapped the counter "Jack. Make it neat." He waited as the bartender fetched him his drink and he pulled out a bill to pay for it. When the young man returned he caught his attention again. "Where's Toy?" The bartender pointed towards a group of tables clustered in the furthest corner of the room, positioned slightly above the dance floor on a raised partitioned off area.

Ororo turned at that, leading the way back through the crowd, unwilling to trail like a piece of flotsam in Logan's wake this time. The filed their way past the assorted partiers, sidestepping slopped drinks and careless feet.

"What the fuck!" Logan jumped forward slightly, nudging Ororo forward into a couple that she was trying to circle. He shot a dirty glare over his shoulder at the circle of men behind him.

Ororo apologized to the people at then flashed a quizzical look at him. "What did you do that for?" she leaned into him for support against the milling crowd.

Logan's jaw tightened so hard that his teeth creaked. "Nothin'."

"So you propelled me into a group of strangers on a lark?" She asked sarcastically, fixing him with a no-nonsense stare.

"Someone pinched my ass." He gave 'Ro a dirty look when she broke into a fit of giggles.

They finally managed to get up the steps of the raised area, relieved at the somewhat diminished volume of the music and thinned crowd. There were a few people scattered around in small clusters at most of the tables, but there was one table at the back with a man who immediately caught their eye.

"Well, I think we've found him." Ororo said, taking the lead again to weave around the chairs, heading towards the most obvious mutant in the room.

He was a dark blue from head to toe, his hair cropped close to his head, pulled into thickly gelled spikes atop his head. The color of it contrasted sharply with his body, being obviously artificially processed to a stark white. A series of piercings glittered from various places on his face, Logan counting easily a dozen in his ears, eyebrow and nose. And his tail…Logan amended, just noticing the unusual appendage that lazily undulated over the man's head, its spaded tip sporting three rings of gold. It made his wonder if there were…other places that the man had pierced.

Ororo reached the table first. It was hard to see his face as it almost faded into the semi-darkness of the room, but she would guess that he was in his early twenties. He was dressed in an expensive looking white shirt that was left half un-buttoned, exposing a length of his toned chest. "Are you Toy?"

The man looked up at her, taking his time to run his eyes over her well kept appearance, obviously trying to judge whether she was worth talking to. He then took in Logan's rougher exterior and nodded to him.

"Ja" He gestured to the chairs across from where he was seated. "So what can I do for you? What's your game…caps, blow, x, tabs…what?" At their befuddled looks he narrowed his eyes. "Wait, you two aren't cops are you?"

Ororo slid Logan a look that spoke volumes. Snorting in agreement, Logan returned the look, before turning his gaze to the man. "Naw, we ain't cops. We've come here to ask you if you'd like to join us." Ro rolled her eyes at his cut-to-the-chase style, but with his enhanced hearing, she knew that he wasn't going to sit in this loud god-damned place for a minute longer than he had to.

"Join you? My dear man, I am afraid I don't understand what you mean." Toy plucked a simple gold case from the table, swinging open its hinged lid he slid a cigarette from its depths, using a matching lighter to flame it alight. He inhaled the smoke deeply, before blowing it out through pursed lips.

"You are some sort of 'businessmen' I assume." He inquired in his thick German accent, before shaking his head back and forth at them. "I've already got my choice of associates, I am afraid."

Ororo looked a little thin lipped. "We aren't here for _that _kind of business." She shot a look at Logan, to which he shrugged, leaving her to finish what she started. He listened as she took a deep breath before launching into the 'standard recruitment speech' as he liked to call it. "We are mutants, like you, who fight those who would set humans and mutants against one another. We believe in a society where human and mutant can co-exist harmoniously together. Also, we run a school where mutant children can be raised free of persecution, to be taught how to control and manage their powers."

Toy looked at her for a minute, before beginning to laugh, smoke puffing out of his nose with the chuckles. "Did you practice that one in front of the mirror, my dear? Or do you peddle it to so many people that its now second nature for you?" His gaze narrowed. "How did you find out about me? And what is it about me that deserves your…attention?"

"Our leader, professor Xavier, heard of you and asked us to approach you. We routinely offer succor to mutants, like yourself."

The man just sat quietly for a minute, smoking elegantly with his two fingered hand, stopping to tap thoughtfully at a half full glass of amber liquid that was set in front of him. "Ah." He said, taking one leisurely sip. "What's in it for me?"

Ororo's eyes widened at Toy's brashness. "Professor Xavier sent us here to approach you, because he thought that you may be in need of some…" she paused for a moment, seeking for a word "…friends."

"Ah, but you see, I have friends here." Toy caught the eye of a nearby man, gesturing him over. "Like Leon here." The newcomer bathed them in an unnaturally wide smile, blinking his yellowish green slit cat's eyes at them. Leon then plunked himself down in Toy's lap, wrapping an arm around his neck before scooping up the glass to down what remained of Toy's drink in a gulp. "So I have not been in the market for new ones."

"Aren't you concerned at all about the events that surround you? People like us…and Leon." Ororo leaned partly across the table. "It doesn't worry you that people like us are being hunted down and killed just for being different?"

The white haired man just threw his head back and laughed at that. "People like us? You see, there are people like us..." He waved one fine boned hand to note the four people at the table. "…and then there are people like us!" Spreading his arms he gestured to encompass the whole bar. He studied them for a minute, taking another slow drag off his cigarette. "However I haven't been approached by the fag brigade, so I suppose I can't count them." Exhaling, he stubbed the cigarette briskly out in the ceramic dish that sat on the table. "But if they do show up, my answer will be the same as it is to you. I can take care of myself just fine. Go find some other lost children to join your cause – they are the ones that really need your protection."

Ororo sat stunned for a minute before uttering a faint. "What!" Logan rested one large hand on her arm, causing her to look towards him. "He's made up his mind, let's go." She looked ready to argue for a minute, but then had pushed her chair back, gracefully rising to her feet.

"If ya ever change your mind…" Logan flicked a plain white business card at the man, and turned on his heel, following Ororo out of the bar.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"C'mon" Logan said rather reluctantly. "Chuck gave instructions to give ya a room…but I think ya probably need to see Hank first."

Toy just stood there for a minute, his flat yellow eyes watching him, before nodding.

Logan led the way down the thickly carpeted walls, the woodwork glowing richly in the artificial light that came from the sconces that dotted the walls at regular intervals. "So what made you change your mind?" Stony silence greeted him.

Coming to the elevator, Logan stepped in, punching in the number for the infirmary floor. He waited until the doors closed with a whoosh, confining the two of them in the small space. "Look, bub, I am going to say this one time and one time only." Turning to face Toy he slid the claws from his right hand, lips lifted in a snarl. "Hurt anyone here, or get them into any trouble, and I will slice you up like luncheon meat. And _no_ drugs."

Ohh…so the kid did have a bit of pluck left after all, thought Logan as he watched the glow from the man's eyes flare with anger at his words. He kind of admired the fact that Toy didn't back down, or cringe like others had, but simply nodded. Of course that could also just mean that the punk would be all sorts of trouble here.

When the doors swished open, Toy shoved rudely past him to walk about two paces down the hall before coming to a stop, fists clenched at his side. He was obviously unsure which way to go, but reluctant to be led around. Good, Logan chuckled in his mind, maybe it'd teach the bastard something if he had to toe after him for a while.

Logan strode past him, boot heels clicking on the tiled floor, until he came to a door with a frosted pane set in it. Rapping on it with one hairy knuckle in fair warning, he then opened it and stuck his head in. Henry looked up from the large book that was laying open on his desk that stood in the corner. "Yes Logan? Can I assist you with something?"

Tossing a look back over his shoulder, he saw that Toy had chosen to linger in the hall, hidden from view. "C'mon punk." Logan reached out and grabbed the mutant by one soggy sleeve, yanking him unceremoniously into the room. Toy glared at him, nostrils flaring as he obviously fought to bite off angry words.

"Ah…I see." Henry turned to scoop his white coat of the back of his chair swinging it over his massive shoulders. "Well let's go have a look at that." He exited his office and led them down the hall to a simple room that held a typical white paper covered exam table, a small desk and a couple of stools. Logan settled himself on the nearest stool to the door, the metal welds of the stool creaking alarmingly at his weight but holding firm. The furniture here had to be built to last.

Henry raised one blue furred eyebrow at his continued presence, but didn't say anything as he pulled bits of gauze and disinfectant out of the drawers of the exam table. Toy reluctantly hopped up on the table, his tail lashing with nerves behind him, making the paper rustle.

Pulling out a pen from his front pocket, Henry began to write on a clipboard. "Name?" He rumbled, glancing over his glasses at Toy.

"Toy." The punk bit the word off like it was something sour.

Henry frowned at the man, tapping his pen against the side of the clipboard. "And that is short for…?"

Logan noticed that the punk had tightened his fingers on the edge of the bed at that question. What was so difficult about just a name he thought, before snorting wryly, thinking of his own troubles in that department. Toy had jumped a little the noise, obviously taking it as disapproval at his reluctance to answer. Toy shot Logan a tight eyed glare of defiance.

"Teufel." The word was almost spat out. He glared at Logan. "It means devil."

"Ah. Yes, quite." Henry had started poking at the punk's numerous abrasions, tsking at the condition of the long cut. He swabbed them with a solution from one of the bottles, causing Toy to suck in a pained breath. Logan slumped back against the wall. The punk had a fairly obvious reason for that name, with his dark blue skin, brightly glowing pupil-less eyes, sharply pointed ears and of course the tail. Add a pair of horns and hand the kid a pitchfork, and he was something right out of a horror story.

Hank interrupted his musings with the next question "Is that it? No last name?"

Toy was obviously reconsidering his options in the face of the probing. Logan didn't know if he should be relieved or disappointed when the man took a deep sigh, obviously coming to the conclusion that he was stuck here. "It's Wagner. Kurt Wagner."

"Well Kurt…" Henry had dried the cut off, pressing thin steri-strips along the length of it. …welcome to Xaviers school for Mutants."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Today Xavier had finally asked the newcomer to meet with some of the staff in the danger room. A couple of weeks had passed since Kurt had appeared, dripping and miserable, on their doorstep. Xavier had left instructions that Kurt be left alone to allow time to adjust to his new surroundings and to heal. Logan stood with the others, in a loose semicircle around Kurt, all dressed in training gear. The blue mutant stood staring guardedly at them.

Logan shook his head slightly. He had the feeling that this one was going to be all sorts of trouble. The wounds to Kurt's face had healed well, and he had slipped back into that cocky attitude. He must have re-bleached his hair, Logan observed, but had also gone to the extra trouble to add a bright pink to the spiky tips. Logan narrowed his eyes at the kid studying him - was that a _new_ frickin' earring? With all that metal it was a wonder he didn't fall on his face. Magneto would have a field day with him, Logan thought with a snort.

Charles sat in his chair with his fingers laced in front of him. "Some of you have already had the chance to meet Kurt, and the rest of you are undoubtedly aware of him. I thought that this would be a good time to formally introduce you all to him, and for Kurt to display his abilities."

Logan shifted lightly on his feet, bored out of his skull as the introductions were made from the people around the room. However his eyes never left Kurt and he noted that no matter who the blue mutant was speaking to at the time, one corner of a golden eye always seemed to be turned to him. When it came to his turn, he just muttered a quick "Logan." Kurt nodded briefly to acknowledge him, and then turned to face the professor.

"I still do not understand why I am here." The kid stood with a confident air, but Logan noticed a slight nervous flick of the man's tail behind him. "I do not understand why any of you are here, unless this is some bizarre collection for your amusement, Herr Xavier."

There was a small noise of a sucked in breath from one of the people in the room, but Xavier waved a hand to still any outburst and smiled at Kurt. "This is no game, Mr. Wagner, but rather a dream. These are my x-men. They are mutants that have decided to join the fight to make this world a place that both mutants and humans can live in peace."

"And how do they do that?" Kurt trailed his eyes over the brightly costumed group. "Mutant awareness parades?"

Logan found himself actually grinning a bit. The kid had spunk, he'd give him that.

"We fight to keep both man and mutant safe." Xavier raised one eyebrow wryly. "I have no doubt that you have heard of the x-men before, Mr. Wagner. It's a little hard to keep our presence quiet doing what we do."

"Ja." Blue fingers tapped briefly on one elbow. "So, in joining you I would get the chance to fight people who would harm mutants?"

Xavier frowned at the implied threat in man's voice. "After much training, yes. But only to uphold the peace between man and mutant." Wheeling to one side he nodded to Kurt. "Perhaps we could start with a demonstration of what you are capable of?"

Kurt grinned widely at that, baring his sharp canines. Winking saucily at the group of them he promptly disappearing in a cloud of smoke, only to reappear with another muffled bamf about half way up the wall, easily clinging to the vertical surface like a spider. Shoving off the wall, he flipped in mid air and hit the floor in a roll. That brought him back to his original position in the middle of the group in a semi crouch, the whiteness of his teeth making a sharp contrast with his dark face.

"Pretty acrobatics…" Logan grunted "…but can you fight?"

Kurt stood and turned the glare of those golden eyes directly towards him. "Ja."

Logan was about to step forward, when he was stopped by Xavier's words. "Perhaps Scott and you could provide a little demonstration then, Kurt?"

Kurt smirked at Logan before turning to face Scott. "Let's keep this a hand to hand combat situation without powers for now." Xavier requested "To see what you are capable of."

Kurt responded with a nod, his eyes intent on the red visored man before him, dropping into a low crouch. Scott circled him cautiously, waiting for the man to make the first move. He didn't have to wait long. Kurt bounded on all fours across the short distance, ducking Scotts first kick with a roll, only to leap back up to his feet behind him. Kurt jumped and then kicked forward with both legs, catching Scott in the back and sending him staggering forward. Scott gathered himself and turned to face the Kurt, body held in a boxing stance. Kurt stood to face him, mimicking Scott's posture, his teeth still bared in a wide smirk.

Scott closed the distance between the two of them, lashing out with a quick two series of punches, his right fist grazing Kurt's jaw. Instead of falling back, Kurt surged forward into Scott, grabbing fistfuls of the man's uniform in order to drag Scott down with him. Kurt rolled backwards, carrying the man's weight on his feet to toss him over his head with a grunt. Scott hit the ground in a tumble, regaining his feet to charge back at Kurt who had sprung back up at face him.

Kurt managed to duck one wide swung fist only to have the other connect solidly with his nose. He fell flat on to his back, nose streaming red, glaring up at Scott who stood over him.

"Had enouggggg….." Scott cut off with a groan, falling to his knees with both hands cupped over his more vulnerable anatomy. Kurt slowly got to his feet, mouth set in a small smirk, as he dabbed ineffectively at the blood still streaming down his face.

"You call that a fair fight!" Logan growled from the sidelines. "What the hell was that?"

"Street fighting." The words were somewhat muffled coming through the mess of swollen tissue and blood. Kurt probed gingerly at his front teeth with a tongue.

"Well Mr. Wagner, I can see that Logan has his work cut out for him." Professor Xavier nearly laughed at the looks on both of the men's faces. "Training starts tomorrow."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Chapter three

He'd worked the kid hard over the last couple of months, and was pleased with the results. Kurt was still as arrogant as ever, but at least now he had some skills, and would follow his commands. Well most of the time at least.

He watched the kid slide out of the passenger seat of the jeep. This was his first mission, and the kid's eyes were alight with an odd mixture of excitement and…anger? Logan frowned. He would have to keep the kid on a tight leash today.

They'd been sent out to this run down city block to investigate some rumors of FoH activity. There had been increased incidences of mutants being mugged or beat up in the area, and they'd heard some muttering about the 'Friends' stirring up some of the local gangs. However this was a routine investigation – nothing too big. It was the perfect starting assignment for the new recruit.

Logan led the way to the reported site of the last mugging. Shadows loomed everywhere and the alleyway behind the abandoned building was strewn with odd bits of debris. A few stagnant puddles dotted the pavement, each gummed with an assortment of oil, dirt and garbage. The brick walls to either side were coated were in graffiti, layers of crude messages and gang tags painted over top on and another.

Logan sniffed deeply of the tainted air, finding the scents that only he could detect that lead them straight to the scene of the crime. They found themselves standing before a large metal dumpster. It had a deep dent in the side, and Kurt traced one finger around the edge that bore dark smears along it. He looked at Logan.

"Blood." Logan acknowledged with a nod. He'd smelt it when they got out of the truck.

Kurt's eyes narrowed. "You said that there was a group of people organizing these attacks? That they weren't just random?"

"Yep, it's starting to look that way." Logan stooped to poke around in the bits of rubbish at the foot of the dumpster, looking for any clues that he could find. He paused, taking a deep whiff of the air, straightening back up to turn to look at the mouth of the alley, but he didn't need to speak. Kurt had already spotted the two men that blocked their path, and was crouched low, his teeth bared in a snarl. His body was nearly shaking as he seethed with semi-controlled rage.

The scent had told Logan the story of the previous night. That these were two of the men that were involved with the beating last night, but Kurt's reaction told him more. Kurt had history with these guys. "Well, well, well…what have we got here." They taller of the two's voice was mocking as he strode forward, looking at Kurt with an appraising eye. "I thought that we had already dealt with you freak. There can't be two of you that ugly."

Kurt's tail lashed like an angry cat's as he leaned towards the two men with an almost feral gleam in his eye. It was a look Logan knew only too well.

"Kurt no!" Logan reached out a hand to grab Kurt's arm to hold him back, but his fingers closed only on a wisp of sulfur laced smoke.

"Damnit Kurt!" He yelled down the alley as he took after his charge. There was a flash as Kurt winked back into existence by the tall man.

"Get your ass back here!" Kurt disappeared again in a gout of smoke, leaving the tall man to crumple ungainly to the pavement, blood already pouring from the stump of his neck. For a minute Logan stood frozen.

"FUCK!" How had the situation gone to total chaos in seconds?

Again, Logan took off, only making it a few steps as Kurt reappeared now by the shorter man.

"Stop!" Logan said. This couldn't be happening. This wasn't how he'd trained Kurt. This wasn't Charles' vision. This wasn't how this was supposed to go down. They were better than this.

But with another muffled bamf, the shorter man collapsed as well and Logan could smell the blood as he ran forward.

What had the hell had the kid done? He drew up short at the sound of Kurt's reemergence to the left of him.

Kurt crouched on the ground, breathing hard and without any sign of remorse he dropped the two grisly bundles that he held in each hand. Then, backing away from Logan, as though only now realizing what he'd done, he covered his face with his hands, smearing his face with blood from his gore soaked hands. His clothes were splattered head to toe with blood.

Logan stared, shocked as, at the two heads that rolled slightly away from where Kurt was crouched, and lay before him, their severed stumps slowly draining crimson to add to the foul mix of the tainted puddles. Their faces were frozen in an expression of sheer horror, as if they had looked into the pits of hell.

"Jesus." Logan glanced down the alley to where the two bodies lay crumpled, still pumping their life's blood into the gutter. He had only made it halfway down the narrow way from where he had started. How long had that taken? Thirty seconds? Less? Less than _thirty seconds _to kill two men…

He looked back at Kurt, who was still was crouched in the same position on the ground. That's when he noticed the man's shoulders were shaking uncontrollably. Maybe there had been remorse after all. "God Kurt…," Logan's voice cracked, barely a whisper, "what the hell have you done?" He'd seen and done his share of killing during his life, but nothing had been like the sheer butchery that this was.

"_God_ had nothing to do with this! If there was a God why would have he let men like this exist at all!" Kurt stood up and dropped his hands, revealing his face, the blood still clinging to it like war paint and Logan saw there was no sadness there. His face was twisted with rage and revulsion. "There is _no_ fucking God! He's a fairy tale for grown ups! And don't think that I am sorry that I killed those assholes! I only did what they would have done to me…what they have done to others!"

Logan stared back at him for a moment, his gaze returning to the lifeless bodies at the mouth of the alley as if it had been pulled there by a magnet. Shit. What was he going to do? If he left Kurt to face the police, he only gave people one more reasons to fear mutants. Plus if any connections were made to the school…. Logan groaned. No this was a mess for Chuck to figure out, not him. He turned to Kurt, taking the young man's arm in a way that showed he meant business.

"We gotta go. _Now_."

Kurt stared at him dazedly up at him for a moment, before nodding and walking down the blood spattered alley, skirting the bodies without looking at them, his head held high and without a trace of shame.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

They had all been shocked at the report. None of them would have ever thought that the brash young man was capable of such ruthless and efficient killing. They had debated for hours on what should be done with Kurt, and had come no nearer to an answer than they had at the beginning.

Logan took another strong pull off of his cigar. The kid had been silent the whole drive back, and had practically run to the showers, stripping blood spattered clothes as he went. Logan had been unsure whether he was supposed to follow and keep an eye on him, until Xavier's voice in his head had requested that he join the rest of them in his office. There was nothing more than Logan wanted than a large bottle of well aged scotch and a quiet place to wash the memories of today away.

"Whadda you want?" The kid may be quick, but his teleportation left a signature calling card behind, particularly to someone with an enhanced sense of smell.

Kurt stepped around the door frame whose shadow he'd been hiding in, glowing eyes fixed on Logan's face. "I want to know what will become of me; no one in there is talking."

Logan sighed, shaking his head. "That's because no one knows yet. What the hell were you thinking?" Logan stubbed the butt of his cigar out viciously against the railing before turning to face him. "I trained you better than that!"

Kurt's face was hard, as if it was chiseled from stone rather than flesh and blood. It made him look even more otherworldly. "Those men…they were the ones that attacked me, and killed my…friend."

"I got _that_." Logan found himself feeling oddly betrayed. He hadn't noticed when the kid had stopped being a thorn in his backside and had started becoming someone he actually gave a shit about. Not till today at least. "But you can't just go killing people like that."

"Why not? I thought that this place was about protecting those that are different? But that's all a lie anyway, isn't it!" Kurt's eyes glowed at him through the darkness. "No matter where I have gone, or what I have done, there is always someone who will hate me for who I am!"

Kurt paced back and forth, looking almost wild, every muscle in his body tight. "Even here! You think that I've not noticed the way that people point and laugh at me behind my back? How they look down at me?" Kurt strode over to the railing, two fingered hands wrapping tightly over the top of it. "If I am doomed to always be an outcast - to always be judged - then don't blame me when I don't just stand there and take it!"

Logan just watched the man for a minute. "Look Kurt, I am not saying that you don't have a right to be pissed off, but you can't shove away the one chance that you've got. The reason that this place works is because we all follow orders, and make decisions with a group of people – otherwise it would be total chaos. Did you give a thought to what kind of shit you could be bringing upon here with that stunt today?" Logan ground to a halt at those words. Since when did _he_ start to give these kinds of speeches? Next thing he knew he'd be wearing pressed slacks and a tie and be walking like he had a stick shoved up his ass.

"So if it took you under a minute to kill those guys today, then how in the hell did they beat you up in the first place?"

Kurt clenched his jaw. "Because I was a fool! I thought that they just wanted to yell at us, like most people do. The first hit – the one that did this…" He traced his fingers down the faint line that marred his cheek. "stunned me. I couldn't tell which was up or down, never mind teleport. When they left, I managed to crawl over to Leon…but it was too late." His tail lashed behind him. "I won't let them hurt me again. Humans have done enough to me!"

"First time you've killed today, huh?"

Kurt flinched at that. "Ja." He turned to Logan, his face hard. "But I will do it again."

"Well it's not the kind of thing you want to get used to. I used to think that killing would help ease the rage. But it doesn't – it makes it worse, till the only thing left in you is anger." Logan looked into Kurt's troubled eyes. "You do that and what you become won't be any better those guys you left dead in the gutter today. Logan turned on his heel and strode back within the house, looking once over his shoulder at the man who still stood at the railing with his shoulders hunched looking over the grey moonlit landscape.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter four

Logan awoke to a muffled thump. Like there was a minor wrestling match going on in the next room. When he was awake enough to realize it was coming from the room that that punk kid Wagner had been assigned to. Pulling on a pair of jogging pants he growled in annoyance, slipping down the hall and knocked on Kurt's door.

"You're going to wake the whole house if you don't knock it off, Bucko."

The thumps continued, though lighter now, and Logan could hear the sound of harsh breathing through the door.

"I said, knock it off!"

There was another bump that was followed by the crash of something shattering on the floor.

"Damnit!" Logan turned the knob and peeked into the room. The moonlight that shone through the open drapes into the room lit it well enough for him to see that it was in shambles. He flipped on the light, the sudden glare making him squint a little as he stepped inside the room. He could just make out the dark form of Kurt, wrapped cocoon like in blankets, squashed into the corner between the dresser and the wall, golden eyes blinking rapidly as they adjusted to the sudden brightness.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Logan questioned as he approached the man. Kurt gave him a dazed look before lurching backward, muttering something incomprehensible.

"Hey! What, are you high? Snap out of it!"

Kurt regarded him fuzzily. "Logan?" He was already tightly bound, but he curled even tighter into himself if that was possible. "I can't get out of here. They won't let me go!" He struggled harder against the blankets wrapped around him.

Logan watched him bewildered for a minute, taking in Kurt's oddly detached appearance, before it suddenly dawned on him. "What did you take you idiot? I told you no God damn drugs!" He hauled Kurt up by grabbing a handful of the blankets wrapped around him, tossing him on the bed. That was all they needed – this stupid punk kid on drugs, when he was already emotionally unstable and could kill people by simply teleporting their heads off.

"Tell me what you took!"

Kurt looked away, either disinterested or reluctant to answer.

"Tell me!" Logan shouted, giving him a hard shake by the shoulders.

"Shrooms." He said it quickly, almost under his breath. The word was slurred but clear enough.

"_Drugs_! As if you weren't in enough God damned trouble, you go pull this shit. Smart move. Real smart move punk." Hoisting him from the bed, Logan dragged Kurt towards the small ensuite bathroom that adjoined his room. It was a tight fit with them both in there, but he bent Kurt over the sink without much trouble. "Now puke, or I'll make you do it."

Logan was pleased to note that the kid was with it enough to flip him his abbreviated form of the bird, before he slipped a finger down his throat and began to retch into the sink. He waited until Kurt was done empting his stomach and then popped the door to the small shower stall open and shoved the man in, blankets and all. With a small grin, he turned the cold on full blast, chuckling at Kurt as he yelped in outrage.

"That'll sober you up some. Teleport out of there, and I will skewer your ass." Logan held up a hand threateningly.

Kurt glowered at him, still a little frazzled around the edges, shivering as the water ran through his garish hair and down his body.

"I can't teleport high…I'd end up in a wall or something." He admitted.

"Well thank God for small mercies." Logan waited a few minutes until the man was thoroughly soaked before he twisted the tap off. "Ya got anything on under those blankets?"

Something else sparked in Kurt's eyes at that. "Nein…" He winked and raised a fine eyebrow at Logan and smiled invitingly.

Logan snorted at him. "Knock it off." Logan grabbed a plush towel off the rack and threw it at the shivering form. "Just leave the blankets in there the shower then and dry off. I'll grab you something to wear."

Leaving the bathroom, he rummaged through the kids drawers, coming up with a t-shirt and pair of sweats. Not bothering to look in the bathroom, he lobbed the clothes in the general direction of where he had left Kurt. Then he wandered back to sit on the edge of the mattress, listening to it groaning under his weight as he shifted.

Kurt emerged a few moments later, suitably clothed, still rubbing his damp hair with the towel. He stood by the door, obviously waiting for Logan to make the next move.

"So what was that about?" Logan said. He was grumpy, tired, and thoroughly disgruntled. This kind of mental health crap was Chuck's department, not his.

Logan narrowed his eyes. "Henry's been checking you consistently, so I know you haven't used since you got here. Why now?"

"I was never a junkie." Kurt twisted the damp towel in his hands uncomfortabally. "All I ever wanted was an occasional escape from life. And to have a little fun. I needed one tonight, that's all."

"Yeah – and that worked out great for you, huh? What was the blanket wrestling match about?"

Kurt folded his arms across his chest, letting the towel fall to the floor. "The blankets wouldn't let me go." He looked dead pan back at Logan.

"Wouldn't let you go. The blankets?" Logan looked incredulous.

"Ja. It was like they were a lover at first, soft, inviting and..." Kurt broke off at the glower on Logan's face. "But then they wouldn't let go, and wrapped all around me and were trying to strangle me."

He wandered over to the top end of his bed, and slid up on it, resting his head back on the wall behind it. "I don't usually have bad trips."

"So why are you hell bent in throwing away everything you have got here?" Logan noticed the man was still shivering slightly. Good. It should keep him in the here and now.

Kurt just stared unblinkingly at him for a moment. "Because I am not like you. I don't feel the need to fit in here. I don't even think that I can." He wrapped his arms around him. "I've listened to Xavier, and to his 'dream'. And I think it's all a big fucking acid trip, actually. Humans will never accept mutants. Just as the mutants here will never accept me for who I am."

Logan sighed heavily, watching Kurt raise a shaking hand to push a lock of wet hair from his eyes.

He grabbed Kurt by the arm, ignoring the young man's protests as he pulled him off the bed and dragged him towards the door. He wasn't sure of what the kid was capable of out of control like this, and he wasn't about to take any risks.

"Well I am not about to leave you alone like that, so I guess you are bunking on my floor, cause I sure ain't sleeping on yours."

ooooooooooooooooooooooo

Kurt was sitting in the small room by himself, sitting on his bed in the corner and picking at the grayish green paint that was flaking off of the cinder block wall with one fingernail. He could hear the sounds of the other children playing a game in the other room and sighed sadly. He knew the sounds of all their games but none of their rules because he had never played them. At least if they were busy having fun, the chances were better that he'd be left in peace.

He looked down at his hands, examining a tiny spot of blood where a larger paint chip had slipped under the nail and lifted it up. Kurt squeezed at the base of the digit, watching the drop of crimson grow, strangely pleased by the small amount of pain it brought with it. It was good to focus on that, real physical pain that he could see and smell rather than the pain that was constantly inside of him that ate at him worse than anything on the outside could.

The door swung open with a slam, startling him and he quickly tucked his hand behind him, grimacing at the smear of blood that it left as he accidentally brushed it against his pants. The headmistress was going to give him all sorts of hell for that. Those were the rules. No yelling, no fighting, and don't make a mess of your clothes. And no matter how hard he tried, it seemed that he always broke the rules.

A group of three boys strode into the room. They looked confident and happy poking each other and giggling amongst themselves over some private joke. Kurt drew his legs up, wrapping his arms around them trying to become as small as possible. This was just what he didn't need. To be found in a quiet out of the way place where they could beat him to a pulp with no one the wiser. Alaric was a few years older than him, and had been the 'top dog' of the orphanage since Kurt could remember. Alaric and his "gang", running things almost as strictly as the headmistress did, a tyranny of fear meted out with punches and kicks, stolen meals, and name calling. Kurt's tail swished uncertainly behind him, but he forced himself to still it, not wanting to draw any more attention to his differences than necessary.

"Hey Teufel…" Alaric's lip was lifted in a curl, his voice taunting as his clipped German accent echoed in the small room. "What you doing in here all by yourself?"

Kurt shivered a little. Alaric was obviously in a mood today, good or bad it all meant the same thing. Maybe if he just kept quiet, ignored their teasing words, they'd get bored and leave him alone.

"Bet you didn't hear that I'm leaving tomorrow, hey Teufel?" Alaric sneered at him and gave Kurt a jab in the shoulder when he didn't appear to be paying attention. Kurt continued to stare pointedly at the opposite wall, refusing to meet Alaric's eyes.

"Yep – I'm getting out of here – I'm going to have a real home now. But of course I have you to thank for that Teufel. Nothing like a little freak like you to make the rest of us look good."

The boys behind him laughed dutifully, their eyes hard on at Kurt as he curled tighter into himself.

"That's nice." Kurt managed. His eyes stung with restrained tears, but it wouldn't do to let this bunch see him cry.

"Bet you are wondering if you'll ever have a family, hey Teufel? But who would want a thing like you? Even the adults around here don't like you, demon-spawn." Alaric pushed his face closer to Kurt's. Kurt gritted his teeth, trying to keep silent. He had to remember that he should be glad Alaric was leaving. Maybe now he'd find some peace.

"Bet you wish that you'd died at the bottom of that waterfall, don't you Teufel? Even your momma knew you shouldn't live."

Something in Kurt snapped. Everyone knew that story, and took every opportunity to throw it in his face. But he just couldn't take it anymore, not when jerks like Alaric could find someone to love him. He sprung forward with a yell, hands curling around the older boy's throat, tackling him down to the floor. He shook the boy, forcing his short cropped blonde head against the worn linoleum over and over again, gratified by the thunk it made each time it hit.

He cried over and over. "Don't call me that! Don't call me that!" Kurt couldn't stop the tears streaming from his eyes.

But almost as soon as it had begun, he felt the other boys grabbing a hold of his arms, dragging him off Alaric. Kurt bucked and fought against them silently, realizing now that to shout would only bring the attention of one of the caretakers and he'd undoubtedly be the one punished. He was always the one they punished. Alaric slowly stood, and put a hand to the back of his head. Seeing the blood on his fingertips he glared murderously at Kurt.

"Oh, you are going to pay for that, Teufel. You are going to pay."

The first fist took him square in the stomach, and he knocked the air out of him. After that blows the blows rained steadily upon him, but it was the names that they called him that cut the deepest.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Logan rolled over to look at the clock. 4:00 in the god damned morning. It had been 1:30ish by the time he'd half drug, half carried Kurt back into his room, and the he'd tossed and turned so much on the floor that it had been impossible to fall asleep for even longer than that. Now what was wrong he thought grumpily as he heard the whimpers coming from the swaddled form on the floor.

Reluctantly Logan slid out of his warm bed and prodded the dark form with a toe.

"What now Kurt, are the god damned blankets strangling you again?"

Kurt's eyes sprung open as he gasped in surprise. He blinked confusedly back at Logan for a minute, before the tension in his body started to ease a little. He looked around, slightly embarrassed. "It's nothing – just a dream," he said.

Logan nodded at him and went back to bed.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Kurt stood by the front door, back pack slung over one shoulder. He looked kind of wistful underneath all of the determined bravado.

"Sure you want to go? No one's kicking you out."

Kurt smiled at him. "Ja. It's better this way." He reached for the door knob before hesitating and turning back to him. "Logan. I…just wanted to say thank you. You were a good friend to me.

"You too, Kurt. You know that you are welcome back anytime." Logan shook the proffered two fingered hand and watched as Kurt turned and swung open the heavy front door, stepping halfway through before he stopped again, to smile back at Logan over his shoulder.

"And Logan?"

"Yah?"

"Nice ass." Kurt winked at him and strode down the steps. Logan chuckled and watched till was out of view, stepping back inside and shutting the door.

"Damn punk."


End file.
